she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
