I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
soo... how was my night?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
