i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
