Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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