Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I look better un-naked...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
