This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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