do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
