I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Holy sore nipples Batman
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
