i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
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