wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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