Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
