In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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