He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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