Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
A bitchslap is in order.
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