Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize