I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
