I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
