how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
