Got a toothbrush?
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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