ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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