"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
