did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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