my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
