Buhtt sex?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
