Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
When are your genitals available?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
