he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
