real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
