is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Randomize
