i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
