Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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