It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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