Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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