My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
