they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
