Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
