just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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