If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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