I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
