I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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