My nipple is on Facebook.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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