i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
