My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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