Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
