i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
