dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
