In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
