did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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