The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
