So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She announced her abortion via fbk
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
