That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
