our cab driver is having phone sex.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
