Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
