you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
