Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
